Dairycon 2024 Exclusives!

'The Retro Rewind' Assortment!


Allegiance: ISCO
Name: FamiComvoy
Function: Merchandise

Quote: "Quit blowing into me, I can't deal with that now!"

Profile:
Famicomvoy had one job: to inform Japanese audiences about the death of Optimus Prime.

He failed.

Luckily, he had his good looks to fall back on. Nowadays, he commands his own squadron of Dairycons.

Abilities:
As a shameless product tie-in, Famicomvoy can often be seen doing cool skateboard tricks and slamming cans of ice cold Energon Zero. He's often mistaken for Ultra Magnus, despite his miniscule size, and uses that to his advantage. His ability to transform into a game cartridge and link to old computer consoles almost never comes in handy, but it allows him to collect a couple extra shannix each cycle, as he lists himself as a 'master.

Weaknesses:
Famicomvoy's tepid speeches and outdated catchphrases rarely motivate his troops into battle. Given the limits of his storage capacity, people are wondering how he fits an entire personality on a single cartridge.

Subpar game mechanics foil even the most ardent players from unlocking level 9 and winning the game.


Alt Mode

Allegiance: Crying Little Pissant
Name: Crying Little Pisant
Function: Failed Relatable Character

Quote: "Waaaahhhh!"

Profile:
A constant thorn in his Autobot babysitter’s side, Crying Little Pissant can be found moping about, frequently whining, and carelessly plowing hoverboards into slumbering Rock Lords (it is now canon – no backsies), actively inviting mortal peril. Clearly accident-prone, he was saved TWICE within the first 2 minutes of his year 2005 debut – by far Hotrod's biggest blunder that day.

As the only son to Spike and Carly, this obnoxious weenie is a daily source of disappointment. Between himself and his pal Wheelie, he is somehow the more annoying of the two – even more so when speaking Japanese.

Abilities:
None. (See Weaknesses)

Weaknesses:
Dangerous when operating an Exo-Suit, though only to himself, as his limbs snap like twigs when transforming. We can't believe he was entrusted with a gun in Headmasters.

We don’t talk about him becoming Arcee’s Headmaster partner… Ever.


Alt Mode | In Package

Allegiance: Penny Racer
Name: Dairycon Sedan
Function: Missing Link

Quote: "Who am I? Where am I?!"

Profile:
Originally an inhabitant of the Microman Universe, before being shipped to the Brazilian Special Forces (where he did nothing to distinguish himself), Dairycon Sedan joined FAMICOMVOY and RETIRED JUMPSTARTER in the Dairycon Universe. Currently functions as the face of the team in undistributed pr pamphlets.

Abilities:
Disguise. Though unintended, SEDAN is often mistaken for Bumblebee or Cliffjumper, allowing him to infiltrate bases with FamiComvoy (who is often himself mistaken for Ultra Magnus.) They're don't have a specific reason to do this, they're just bored. In fact, the entire team under Famicomvoy's command is largely forgotten, enhancing their ability to sneak.

Weaknesses:
Brain module is often taken over or swapped out by Bombshell. This has become less of a problem since Bombshell became Cyclonus. :-)


Alt Mode | With Instructions

Allegiance:
Name: Retired Jumpstarter
Function: Champion

Quote: "

Profile:

Abilities:

Weaknesses:


Alt Mode | In Package

Notes 1: Headmaster? Brainmaster? Cartridge master? His resume is vague.

Hey, if Optimus Prime can fit on a floppy disk...!

In case you thought we were joking: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transformers:_Mystery_of_Convoy

Notes 2: Bumper is one of the only places on TfWiki where Fred's Worksop is actually linked in the reference section. You'd think it would be more prominent, but... sigh.

Notes 3: There's been some pissant every year that contacts us on the group, says to, 'comp him some tables cuz he's bringing the voice actor.' We never hear from him again.

Notes 4: Like the Frozen Tundra, now you too can own a piece of Dairycon! Retired Jumpstarter for the win!