Shattered! The Dairycon Moo-niverse

Chapter Two

An ancient struggle erupts on Earth between two warring clans of Dairycons, with a clue to the ultimate power held by a young Heffer.


"Hi Kids! I'm Fredbot and I'm here to tell you about the Dairycon Universe. You live in it. You battle in it. But have you ever wondered where it came from?"

"The answer is- Cheese! That's right, the Dairycon universe is made of cheese, with a bit of ham thrown in for good measure. That's why everything seems so cheesy. Well, thanks for watching, and be sure to check out the next Dairycon, coming to a city near you. Bye!"




The Ancient Evil stirred and awakened. It had been a long time since the Chaos-Bringer had been active. Though turned away at many intervals, evil could never truly be defeated. It was thus that, when not actively involved in the destruction of a universe, He slumbered.

He could sense it, though. The Ancient Guardian of the Dairycon Universe had passed. The Moo-niverse, that multiverse of Dairycon, was born.

And it did not have a Protector.

It had a Moron.

"How delicious," the ancient evil thought. "When I fully awaken, I will consume this Moo-niverse, byte by delicious byte. There will be none left to oppose me."

It was the thought that made him pause; he had been at this 'destruction of the Universe' business for a long, long time. And in all that time, he found that he had been consistently turned away (not defeated!) by an unknown protector. Usually when victory was in his grasp. Though he saw no need, it did pay to be prudent. Patient, even.

He would send a Champion. Someone to clear he way, making sure there were *no* obstacles to his mission.

From the depths of time, he would summon. The greatest amalgum of evil intent. Someone in every way the opposite of Heffer. A nemesis in every sense of the word. From the ashes of an ancient warlord that time forgot. Bathed in the power of the chaos-bringer, his red eyes glowing with evil intent, the command was spoke.

"Arise my champion. And fight!"


The Future.

The air is filled with the sound of static. Fredbot and Erector turn as Heffer is engulfed in an orange energy field. They back up as arcs of energy lash out hitting trees, flowers, grass, and the path.

“Heffer!” yells Erector.

“Moo?” says Heffer confusedly as the energy crackles around him.

The energy continues to arc and suddenly, as quickly as it starts, it vanishes.

“Where’d he go?” asks Fredbot.

He had little time to complete the thought, as a deeper orange crackle appeared again. This time, not just one, but an entire herd of Dairycons strode thru.

Nearly all of them, in one shot. The Hero's Garden was becoming very crowded, indeed.

The crackle vanished, and one excited Possum of Justice stepped forward.

Assum Possum: "Did we make it? Did we get here in time?!"

Erector: "What the heck. Where did you all come from?!"

Bumblebee: "Yea, and how soon can you leave? You smell awful."

Burning Monkey: "Now is not the time for platitudes. Where is the one called Heffer?"

Erector: "Um, well.... he just left."

Shining Spider: "What?!"

Bumblebee: "Yea, you just missed him. Left the same way you all came in. Why?"

Rally Rhino: "Well, that's it then. We're doomed."

Erector: "Will someone tell me what's going on?"

Battle Bat: "Well, you see, it's like this - we overshot our mark. We're here to stop Heffer before it's too-late."

Bumblebee: "Too-late? Too-late for what?"

Shining Spider: "Before it's too-late for the entire Universe. Don't you know? Heffer destroys us all."

The Cracker: "Yea, it's not a pretty sight, awright? Seen it. Felt it. Hoped a couple a wild cards like his friends could help stop it."

Burning Monkey: "Yes, the surviving records on the Ravage tape indicated that, for one brief moment, the universe could be saved."

The Cracker: "Yea, mate, he could get by with a little help from his friends."



The disbelief in the air was palpable.

Bumblebee: "Eeeeh. Yea. Um. Well, that's all very interesting, but you just missed him. We assume he's back to... wherever he came."

Fredbot: "So if you want to help him, head back. Here' I'll guide the way." Fredbot reaches over and, using the same artifact that Optimus had traded him a year ago, opened a portal back to 2012.

Fredbot: "Listen, I figure he went back to where I first pulled him from, which is about where you all were until you were... well, here. So go back to where you just were." Fredbot activated the device, and Erector pushed all the classic Dairycons back thru time to where they'd started from, thereby making the entire trip a waste of time.

Or was it?

Erector: "Hold up, 'future' Dairycons. This trip is only for 'Dairycon classics'. You six stay here."

Awsum Posum, Battle Bat, Rally Rhino, Shining Spider, Burning Monkey, and The Cracker were held back as the rest of the Dairycons headed back to their own time.

Fredbot: "Now, I don't want to alarm you, but you didn't overshoot your mark - you undershot it."

Shining Spider: "What?!"

Erector: "Think about it. Heffer *just* disappeared. We don't know where, but you seem to. You were intent on stopping Heffer from, near as I can tell, doing something he hasn't even done yet. As far as we know."

Fredbot: "So, thanks for the warning, but how about you try to be a little more careful? Have all the Dairycons lost their brains in the future? How is mucking around with time going to fix anything? You'll just make it worse."

Burning Monkey: "Then you don't know."

Bumblebee: "Know what?"

Shining Spider: "You don't know what happens... after."

Erector: "Did you just miss the part where I said this was our present, not your future?"

Shining Spider: "You *don't* know. Which means... there's still hope."

Bumblebee: "I really don't understand."

Fredbot: "Oh lord, let me guess. Whatever changes were wrought... were already wrought. Is this your timeframe? Just not your future?"

Rally Rhino: "What do you know, one of them gets it. Oh well. We're still doomed."

Bumblebee: "My head hurts."

Fredbot: "So wait, which is the correct future then? Ours, or yours? Or is this a completely separate universe thing?"

Shining Spider: "We'll know soon enough..."


It had all been blessed silence.

In another time, another place, he had defeated the heroic BatBot and Rob-N, and taken the Cowpie of Courage for himself, and used it to rule the galaxy. This particular Universe, in no uncertain terms, was *his*.

It was not enough.

He sat upon a throne made from his enemies, wearing a crown of their circuits.

He'd been there a *very* long time.

But He was not happy.

It wasn't the same, he reasoned. Here, Evil was good, and Good was evil. Ersatz Dairycons they may have been, but there was no challenge. Even their greatest warrior, the evil Burning Bunny Convoy, proved to be no match for him.

So he defeated them all.

Now, he rested. And waited.

He knew it would happen eventually.

A dark portal opened, rippling with energy. It siezed him, dragging him from this Shattered place, and back to the original Universe.

His Universe.

It was only fitting. He spoke aloud, for the first time in a very long time.


"Yes. You expected to be returned here eventually."

"And here I am. What would the Chaos-Bringer have of me, exactly?"

"You will defeat my enemies, and give me the universe."

"I already did that. It's boring. I have no interest."

"Not even if you could defeat your brother?"

At this, he paused. Surely, after all this time, *he* couldn't still be alive and functioning? He'd effectively lobotimized him the last time they fought. It was a won battle. He'd defeated Heffer, and with the loss of his core came the loss of everything their father held dear. There was no finding the Emperor of Construction. And there certainly was no way he could gather the other Instruments of Destruction.

The chaos-bringer read his thoughts. "So you found the one where I told you it would be."

Hoofer held up the Hammer. "Yes, yes, it was all very clever that Moo-lnyr was hidden in another universe. And the flip one, no less. Very clever indeed. It allowed me to take over. So what? Neither you or I will ever find the others, with Heffer gone."

"I have already brought you back. Allowed you to retain possession of the artifact. Given you great Power."


"And I can bring you Heffer, too."

"Hah! No, you can't. I killed him. You can't bring him back, and even if you did, he'd be tainted with Dark Energy. The knowledge would be lost. You tried that already, when you revived my father, and the Thousand. They had no knowledge to give you, did they?"

The chaos bringer was silent.

"That's what I thought. Now, if there's nothing more, kindly return me to the shattered mirror of an existence you left me in, and leave me alone!"


There was silence for a moment, and then:

"Heffer is alive."


Hoofer paused at that.

"It's true. You nearly extinguished him, but a shard remained; the Guardian of this Universe saved him, and placed him in the care of the next generation of Dairycons."


"In this universe, they didn't die out. The name was taken up by another, and the core beliefs retained."

"You mean to tell me that Heffer, and the *Dairycons* still exist?!"


"The Artifacts?"

"The Artifacts can be found."

"You lie!"

"I have no reason to. I am Everything, and Nothing. You are merely one means to an end. I can always find another."

"No! Heffer is mine to deal with! I am his brother, his enemy! I am everything he is not! I am the Nemesis Heffer, and I will not be denied my birthright!"

"Excellent. You will fufill your destiny. I will provide you with the Thousand. They are yours to command."

"It's not enough. Not nearly enough! You will give me my Generals as well."

"You wish others to cross over?"

"You wish me to defeat my brother and deliver this universe unto you?"



"Hrmmm. I admit, you strike an interesting bargain. Very well. I will infuse you with my dark energies. I will give you a new body, and new troops to command. I will do this thing for you. But not without a price."

The screams echoed across a dead universe as dark energy poured into Hoofer. Red eyes and horns, reminiscent of his dark master, appeared. Troops, fearful generals known only in the shattered moo-niverse, appeared by his side, powered by the dark energy as well.

And the Thousand. His father's followers, The Harbingers of the Apocalypse, all here, and all his to command. But at a price. At a terrible, terrible price.

There were no half-measures. His soul was gone. Hoofer was gone. Only Nemesis Heffer remained.

The chaos-bringer gave the command:

"Arise my champion. And fight!"

Pulled from Time, forged in the very Heart of Darkness, his red eyes glowing, the Chaos Bringer's new Champion ripped open a portal and strode thru, his Thousands of troops following close behind.

His Destination?


Onward to Chapter Three!

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