Dairycon 2012 Exclusives!

Dairycon 2012 Exclusives The 'Moo-vie' Assortment: Barn, NeoKnight, and Cosmoo!

Read about these exciting characters in Dairycon 2040: Erect and Proud and Changing Steers!

Allegiance: Dairycon
Name: Barn
Function: Houser

Quote: You Couldn't Hit the Broadside of a Brawn!"

When asked for one word to describe his friend BARN, Steers replied, 'Frustrated'. As STEERS herds the Dairycons, BARN houses them. Always hassling moochers for rent money, and constantly fighting to keep his properties up to code. In fleshling parlance, he'd be referred to as a, 'slum lord' (though BARN prefers the term, 'freelance rental agent'.) He often uses the Dairycon accessory WRENCH IN THE WORKS to fix the problem. Has continually tried to evict HEFFER under the "no-pets" clause of his rental agreement. Smooth Texas drawl often mistaken for friendliness; BARN is actually quite Surly.

As the largest Dairycon, BARN can haul and store the other Dairycons for ground transport over long distances. When threatened, BARN deploys 'The Big Package', an assortment of heavy weapons. He is admired by Amish people, who are somewhat confused that he isn't red.

Low cowchip tolerance. Moochers like Cosmoo get on BARN's nerves. Unable to house him for any length of time. Has told the others to, "Jettison some weight or he'll never make it back to MooBase." Has a habit of leaving the door open and then closing it when Ass-09 has already gotten out. For some reason, everyone thinks he's going to die in, 'Dairycon the Moo-vie'.

Alt Mode | Robot Mode | In-Package | 'The Big Package' (Compatible with Other Dairycons!)

Allegiance: Evil Decepticon
Function:Entrepreneur; former Neo Knight Commander

Quote: "I'm not Robert Downey Junior!"

After a mission to Cybertron in which he barely survived, BlackRock returned to Earth, changed his name, and promptly disbanded the neo knights. Tired of the pressure, GB and Josie went off and got married, had kids, sailed the Riveria... when the call came in, and Earth needed help, BlackRock contacted the Autobots, to no avail. Tired of having his calls ignored after 27 years, BlackRock instead contacted the Dairycons.

It's been downhill from there.

He is in typical condition for a human of his age with no superpowers who engages in moderate physical activity :-) As a venture capitalist and former captain of industry, BlackRock has connections to nearly every facet of earthen society. It is thru him that many of the Dairycon's secret projects have been funded.

You mean, when he isn't dealing with someone wrecking an oil rig, stealing an aerospace firm, paying alimony, crashing his racecar, getting stranded on an alien planet....?

Alt Mode | In-Package | Neoknight Comparison

Allegiance: Dairycon
Name: Cosmoo

Quote: "Can I borrow 5 bucks? I'll pay you back... honest!"

Truly a waste of good dairy air. Cosmoo is the biggest moocher what roams the fields of Dairyland. Always borrowing money, weapons, energon, tools, grills, silverware, CDs, lawn chairs, etc and never returns them. No one knows where he actually lives in Dairyland, because he is always living off someone else. He shows up at all the Dairyland parties and functions, eats everything up, and leaves.

Able to talk anybody out of anything. Excellent con man with great negotiation skills. He has heff-mounted weapons that he never paid for. Rumor is that they are aftermarket knock offs. Excellent poker player and fish cook.

Due to lazy life style and over consumption, he has put on a lot of weight. Behind on his rent, credit card payments, and owes everyone in Dairyland something. His short, portly, inactive physique makes him produce excessive amounts of menthane, causing a bad body odor. Allies and adversaries alike keep their distance. Bad dresser. Since he has lived off the Dairyland's public dole, he has no actual experience with anything. He likes getting together with Steers and Heffer, and tell big lies about how good he used to be.

Alt Mode | Alt Mode (Dairy-aire) | In-Package | Prototype Version


BARN: Ok, three more BARN jokes: Can't understand why others call to him "Hay Barn" and then laugh when he says Hi back. Some people started calling him "Pole Shed" after a convention was held inside him. Doesn't understand why it's funny when people say he has a "stable" personality :-) BARN was actually slated to be released a couple of years from now, but it seemed like a nice surprise... I trust we don't need to mention his Big Package here. Although it is nice to note that it's compatible with other Dairycons :-) Come-on, we even gave you a death's head joke in there! And he's the only Dairycon who'd actually call REPAIR BEAR to fix a problem...

NeoKnight: We're pretty happy with how 'NeoKnight' turned out. There was a running gag in a previous storyline about him forming other groups every bit as important as the NeoKnights, such as the New Secret Defenders, and the Ambush Bug Corps, but we've kinda ignored that for his current bio :-) We also have a couple more jokes for him: Swears that he and Megan Fox are "just friends". Gets annoyed when people see him carrying around a large bell and call him a ding-dong. Swears he is not Tom Selleck's love child. Get's testy when people say, "Hey, the 70's called, they want their mustache back."

Cosmoo: As for Cosmoo, that one is the whole point of the Dairycon 2012 Moo-vie theme! And he ties in nicely with Steers and Heffer.

As always, these items were lovingly made fun of and given away at the Dairycon Convention. Enjoy.